I beat myself up mercilessly at times. Figuratively speaking of course. I sit at work (a job for which I am most thankful) thinking, "Oh, if only I wasn't here I could be doing ---". Then, I return home, only to be frustrated by the lack of creation room and my thoughts meander to "Oh, if only I wasn't here, I could be doing ---".
Am I crazy? (Family and close friends are forbidden from answering that one publicly;) No more than usual. And I think it all has to do with the mentality by which we are constantly surrounded by.
More, more, more. That's what our society preaches. Even when trying to slow down and simplify, it is so easy to be sucked into believing that because we aren't super productive all the time, we are squandering the hours given.
Yesterday afternoon, I took a nap. Counter productive to my rantings, or so it seemed at the time. However, my body was craving more rest. Harry Potter hangover still in full swing. So I relented and gave in, sleeping for at least an hour, possibly more. My husband, gentle soul, tried to wake me at the appointed time but he said I grunted angrily twice and rolled back over. He was wise to let me do so.
We went for dinner then returned, all in the name of "getting something done". In my mind, that means conquering the world before bed time. I looked at my craft corner (OK, my corner cluttered with craft supplies) and sighed. Then I did something most unusual. I took out some fabric, ironed it, and cut the squares for my current project. That's it. I did no more. I sat my stack of little plaid squares atop my current hardcover and sighed. This time, out of satisfaction. Did I conquer the world? Well, not yet. Did I accomplish something? Yes. As a matter of fact, I did.
I'm one step closer to completing a project. It wasn't life altering or earth shaking (in fact, one would not notice if they poked their head in our garage room and scoured the coffee table in search of said plaid squares). But I can smile a small smile knowing one more thing is crossed off my list.
Here's to a few more crossed off tasks this weekend, and not fretting if there aren't!